All for a piece of ass-tronaut

First of all, in spite of bombings and battles and politics and all sorts of other things going on, the lead news story of the day has been Lisa Nowak, the astronaut arrested on kidnapping and attempted murder charges after racing more than 900 miles to harass her perceived rival for the attentions of another astronaut.

Lovestruck, moonstruck, moonshot or just completely nuts, Nowak drove from Houston to Florida wearing a disguise -- and adult diapers so she wouldn't have to stop for restroom breaks (I admit, that's a travel tip I had not thought of before) -- just to intercept the other chick at the airport and "scare her." All this over a man with whom Nowak had a relationship she described as "more than a working relationship but less than a romantic relationship."

This makes me wonder what the hell she does when she's really in a relationship with someone. What was the courtship like before she and her husband got married? Did it involve constant World Wrestling Federation-style body slams of other women in the vicinity? Was there a "Texas NASA Chainsaw Massacre" we don't know about?

I'm amazed at how quickly the news story spread and how much attention it's getting. Two of my favorite headlines on stories about Nowak and the bizarre love triangle are "Lust In Space" (The Scotsman) and "From high-flying career to 'astro-nut'" (The Sydney Morning Herald). I haven't seen any media outlets use the term "Ass-tronaut" but I'm sure it's coming soon.

This kind of reminds me of the Colorado forest fire that was started by a female Forest Service worker burning a letter from her estranged husband. Between that and the Nowak odyssey, I think we've got plenty of evidence that Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

Besides the Nowak story, the big news of the day is that disgraced evangelical Ted Haggard has been declared "completely straight!" Says his counselor:

It was the acting-out situations where things took place. It wasn't a constant thing.

So I guess that means it's OK for spouses to cheat on each other as long as they're just "acting out," right? Does that also mean I can stab someone in the eye with a fork as long as it's not "a constant thing"? Is driving more than 900 miles in a diaper to "scare" a possible romantic rival OK, as long as it's not "a constant thing"?

The world is a weird, weird place.